Overheard at CERN

Large Hadron Collider Switch-on Fears Are Completely Unfounded

“Each collision of a pair of protons in the LHC will release an amount of energy comparable to that of two colliding mosquitoes, so any black hole produced would be much smaller than those known to astrophysicists.” They conclude that such microscopic black holes could not grow dangerously.

Wait a minute. Crossing proton streams. End of the world scenarios…
Haven’t we heard this one before?

Dr. Egon Spengler: Don’t cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Spengler: It would be bad.
Venkman: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad”?
Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Venkman: Right. That’s bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

[…]

Spengler: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the particle flow through the gate.
Venkman: How?
Spengler: [hesitates] We’ll cross the streams.
Venkman: ‘Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad!
Stantz: Cross the streams…
Venkman: You’re gonna endanger us, you’re gonna endanger our client – the nice lady, who paid us in advance, before she became a dog…
Spengler: Not necessarily. There’s definitely a *very slim* chance we’ll survive.
[pause while they consider this]
Venkman: [slaps Ray] I love this plan! I’m excited to be a part of it! LET’S DO IT!

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