How Lance Armstrong Gets His Unusual Energy

The New York Times asks How Lance Armstrong Gets His Unusual Energy. According to a paper in the Journal of Applied Physiology the answer, surprisingly enough, is not blood doping. (Besides, what good is blood doping if everyone else is doing it too?)

No, kids, in fact Lance Armstrong is not human. And he is way more efficient at using oxygen and burning energy than mere mortals.

That makes me feel much better. I’m not 7′ 6″, so I’ll never play in the NBA. And I’ll never win the Tour de France because my muscles are not 80% slow-twitch fibers. Or something.